17 or 18 years ago my physical life was in jeopardy and I was very close to death, at that time my life was just tennis, I was a professional player and had a strong future in the sport. But my malaise was huge, I despised myself, I did not respect myself, I was always judging who I was, I never was good enough at what I did and I always wanted more. This made me reach a state of desire to stop living.
(I use this opportunity because my mother does not use Facebook or other technology and so I ask those closest to her that they don’t let her read this, becauseI know now that I'm a dad, it will for sure hurt her soul to hear it again, but I feel I must share it if it can help someone to not go through what I went through.)
Something came to me, i don’t know from where, but it gave me a solution. And it was a rumbling inside of a feeling, word, message telling me;
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE .....
And I felt relief for the first time in years. That was all? Love me? That would solve everything?
And something deep inside me said;
Yes, that is the solution and install LOVE in everything you do in your life .....
It was so strong (more than strong, it was complete certainty)
I felt so sure that the only thing left to do, was put in the work.
And indeed, I began to feel calmer and that led me to inner peace (hence LOVE & PEACE)
Things began to change in my life, starting with my tennis, because more LOVE for myself, the better I felt and was not afraid to lose, because I did not need recognition, attention and praise which was initially why I really wanted to win, believing that that would make me happy. And it was not !!! My tennis kept evolving and the results were on par, earning more than ever, but I was not looking to win but playing from the true enjoyment that was for me the sport (such as a child, playing five hours followed with the smile on their face, no matter what happened)
But I felt within me to leave professional tennis (for reasons that would be very long to explain and will not contribute to what I really want to share)
By leaving tennis competition, not knowing what I really wanted to do in my life (clearly felt nothing) I had two calls (already had offers to coach before and I had discarded them, and two were socially speaking very good)
These two calls were two guys I knew from where I trained my entire career as a professional (school of Luis Bruguera) and felt there was such suffering on them I knew well, especially in one of them. They were Oscar and Ivan. And it was there that I began to share the path of love applied to the court, which was brought to me and is continuing my evolution as a human being. I kept going forward, reaching energies, spirituality ..... in the end all It is the same !!! LOVE !!!
But it helps you understand it better.
During the first years of my career as a coach, criticism of me in the world of tennis competition were very strong, that he spoke both LOVE, transmit the technique through feelings, rather than mechanical repetition and hard work, made people think I was crazy and worse, like creating sects and brainwashing.
But the result was wonderful !!! The boys were finding more calm inside themselves and their play grew and grew (of course within its capabilities) it was wonderful to see these changes and above all they felt understood and loved, plus increasingly respected themselves, letting themselves be secure in their decisions and actions. It was beautiful.
In the years, some people outside the world of tennis were asking me if they could help and my answer was always NO. I was not a psychologist (although for 4 years I read countless books on psychology and self-help, but nothing compares to the feeling I felt when I receive information that simple "do not know where") nor I dare.
But one summer day I remember perfectly, I said yes, and there it all began ..... The taunts continued, criticisms towards me and my way of understanding the way of life. Especially in the world of tennis.
And a person's life sent another and then another and so on to Marko (to get where I want to get there)
Carlos, a guy he had spent years with and helping him doing this inner work together (as they go hand in hand both) and Antonio met this guy Marko, and both connected well. Marko was suffering as I was years ago and asked if he could come to Marbella for assistance.
That was almost four years ago and today that guy Marko is a divine power to see him living his life with respect and love for yourself to then show it to the others. And the desire to continue to evolve as a human being.
And so amazing to have that in the eyes of his family change (because they saw the destruction and could not do anything about it despite all the resources they have not found the key) his older brother, who also wanted to learn tennis through where that change was possible.
(Say, criticisms and opinions about my person remained in many hard cases, but increasingly people who lived daily in the tournaments perceived good vibes or good energy in the group of us) let one parenthesis here;
----- Eight years ago more or less I made some shirts for my sport, using Chinese characters to put in Love and Peace, and do you know why in Chinese characters? Because I still did not love myself enough to put it in Spanish for the looks of people feeling feeling their judgment and derision were with me. But I needed to embroider them, that's what saved my life, the love that brought me PEACE. And it took me to the edge. Two years later, the following embroidered shirts I sent to Javier (the man who embroiders my clothes) I now wrote in Spanish;
LOVE & PEACE
And I said, pants, tracksuits, socks, bags and every clothing I have !!!
All of it !!! As I want to advertise what saved my life !!!
Let them think what they want, they have every right. Also, no matter who judges me, because I love them equally.
And that was what catapulted me to step back and showed me that love works with people who judge you or even hate -----
And so the brother of Marko is Novak and was about three years ago I had my first encounter with him.
His intellect-mind was already familiar with the energy and spirituality and soul was open to receive through me. It all began and it was divine from the beginning and during most times was repeated that work on the inner level and always on the same basis, address and instrument (if I may call it that) that takes you LOVE to PEACE.
I need to share, to Novak, in his imperfection as every human being has a very large generosity, kindness, commitment to helping disadvantaged and a feeling of love for his very large (though that has sometimes made him out to the side controller, but that we are all here to evolve into beings humans. And our shortcomings as he knows)
During talks, lectures or just personal conversations is a very common question;
?? But Pepe any of the above (referring to the "best" the quotation marks because in my opinion there is no better or worse, only players) you practice what you say ??
And my answer was always the same;
"In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king" is to say that if everyone does wrong, one that does a little less evil can bring them to the water.
Besides answer;
But the world and humanity is changing and there is growing awareness of this. Within a few years we will feel normal, (currently abnormality) to talk about love as a path in life, whether in the context whatsoever.
Now it is much easier to answer that question teaching this photo !!!
This player is one of the "top"
And all this writing here to give thanks to the love and in this case in particular to Novak for giving him a huge dimensionality and echo LOVE. Also to say (and I say this from experience) that you have to be brave today to talk or praise the word LOVE (as sad as it sounds) and to many millions of people who pierce their eyes and their possible sharp judgment on you.
I say of course that everyone is a mere instrument that life uses to bring you where you want to go.
The water which quenches thirst, the tap is only the instrument that uses water to make it flow.
I learned to learn and have desire to continue learning to be a tap.
And you please become or continue being a tap wherever life brings you .....
I LOVE YOU ..... Thank you Novak
And I LOVE YOU Thanks Marko
Thanks Carlos I LOVE YOU
Thanks Antonio, Oscar, Ivan I LOVE YOU
Thanks to everyone who walks in LOVE
Thank you for being able to name you and thank you all for reading something about love.
And anyone who is still uncomfortable hearing about LOVE and feels judgement about what you have read, I say from the greatest humility I can find within myself and with the utmost respect;
I LOVE YOU, from the heart…. I LOVE YOU
LOVE & PEACE